Five Sessions
by Neuroscpr
Summary: After John's death, Aeryn visits a therapist


As you'll realize very quickly, this story takes place many years after season 3. Read it before you  
question the plausibility. Thanks  
  
-February 9, 2061-  
  
I have approximately one hundred and forty four patients under my care at Roaming Hills  
State Hospital in sunny California. Most people say that's a pretty impressive number for a guy  
who can't seem to find sanity in his own life. What this means for me is that I'm on call at 2:45 in  
the morning when one of them decides they can fly. Now don't get me wrong, this isn't some  
high security building filled with rapists and serial killers. My staff and I work under a minimum  
level of stress. Of course, that doesn't include the stress we induce on ourselves.  
  
It was a Monday morning, I believe, when patient one hundred and forty five was put  
under my supervision. At first glance, she appeared to be just another unhinged older woman  
who didn't know how to cope with being alone after a long marriage. That was all speculation on  
my part. We do this thing where we try to guess the patients before looking at their charts.   
Never mind. This woman, Aeryn Sun she called herself, (had to check the spelling on that one)  
certainly didn't look insane, just quiet. Very, very quiet.  
  
My wife had decided to wake me up late that morning which I greatly appreciated at the  
time. Not so good when the paycheck gets messed with. In between fixing my tie and drinking a  
glass of orange juice, I was in the car about five minutes before go time. Traffic on the way to the  
hospital is always a bitch and that Monday was worse than most. I found myself having to explain  
about an accident to a cadre of ill-tempered nurses with cattle prods. Somewhere deep down,  
they all love me. Very deep down.  
  
There was another complaint sitting on my desk when I got in. One is actually a good  
thing. Most days I get about two to three hundred of them. Fifty percent come from employees.   
This one had been taken down by Jane Sprick, our chief nurse and my absolute guiding light.   
Jane's the type of person every working company needs. Soft but with a strong base in mortal  
combat. She had taken it down for one of the patients.  
  
"New girl screamed all night." I read the words aloud to myself and sighed. What new  
girl? The complaint was written in shaky blue ink, which meant Jim had written it. Jim was the  
only patient on the third floor of our wonderful hospital. He's not dangerous, we're just  
understaffed at the moment. There had been no new girl when I left for home on Friday. The  
weekend guy had probably checked her in. I would have to investigate.  
  
Aeryn Sun had indeed screamed all night. This was not uncommon in and of itself. Most  
new patients had a little fit to settle in among the others. Living here takes some getting used to.   
I found Aeryn sitting quietly on her bed. A white strip around her wrist identified her as #145.   
The first thing that struck me was her face. She looked old, but not my grandmother old. A few  
wrinkles here and there. Some stray grey hairs. It was the expression that made her look ancient.   
Like she'd been to hell and stayed a while before coming back.  
  
"Who are you?" That's actually the topic of our first official session but I'll get to that  
later. She spoke in perfect English but with an accent I couldn't for the life of me identify. "My  
name is Dr. Phillips. I'm here to help you." Aeryn smiled at this. I've never seen a more  
beautiful sigh in my life (don't tell the wife). She seemed to be recalling something very funny. I  
didn't think an inquiry would gain anything. "Do you need something?" I asked this of all my  
patients. It helped to start off the relationship. Aeryn stared at me. "Do you have any  
chocolate?"  
  
I called Jane at the front office and asked her to bring me up a peanut butter cup from the  
lobby. Aeryn took the brown disk in her and sniffed it carefully. "What? You don't like  
Reece's?" She frowned at me. I feared that I had somehow spoiled the moment. "You can go  
now." The words came out matter-of-factly. As if she was giving me leave. It didn't make sense  
to try for anything else then. It would be months before we had another chance.  
  
For three months, Aeryn Sun left her room only to eat and take a run in the gym. We  
have an ancient walking machine that she grew attached to. Jane tells me her first time was  
actually quite strange. Aeryn had climbed onto the machine and began to run. When told it  
moved, she had nodded as if it was obvious. They watched her try to figure out the controls until  
she smashed her fists into them. The machine started to move. Knowing what I do now, I wish I  
could have seen her then.  
  
The Lunch room can turn into a zoo when the patients start to get rowdy. No nurse will  
go near the place when they're like that. I made the unfortunate mistake of entering without a  
cattle prod handy. Then again, maybe it was a good thing after all. It got me a date with the  
elusive Aeryn Sun.  
  
I was making my way through the maze of tables when I spotted her. She always sat  
alone and ate with almost military precision. No two foods touched each other on the plate.   
Distracted, I never saw Petey take the fork from his pocket (they're not supposed to have  
forks!!). Petey is our most dangerous patient. He's not disturbed, just rebellious. Up until that  
day, it was just a game. After, we had him sent to a high security facility. I felt the cold steel  
press against my neck. Drops of saliva scattered across my face. Petey stuttered.  
  
"How does it feel Dock?" I thought it sounded like a bad movie star impression. Though  
I can't tell you which one. "How does it feel when someone else has your life in their hands?"   
The fork went deeper. I felt something warm and wet touch my skin. The damn utensil was  
rusty. There were shouts of approval from some of the others. I had never realized there was so  
much animosity towards me. It hurt somehow, though not more than a fork at the throat.  
  
What happened next I expected even less. There was the sound of footsteps smacking  
across the tiled floor. I always hated those tiles. Petey cried out in pain and I felt the pressure  
leave my neck. The fork clattered to the ground as did I. It may be of interest to whoever reads  
this to know that poor Petey never used his right hand again. Aeryn Sun had crushed it with her  
own. She knelt down beside me with a concerned look on her face. "Are you alright?" The  
words seemed to come from far away.  
  
About a week after that, I returned to Aeryn's room with a bandage on my neck. She  
inquired about my health and acted more open than I had ever known her to be. "Was it the sight  
of me in mortal danger that finally woke you up?" Her face bore the look of confusion. "Why  
would it?" I shrugged and waited for her to say something else. She kept me waiting for quite  
some time. That's when I noticed the ring. It wasn't on one of her fingers. Aeryn held it in her  
left hand. "So this is about a guy." This angered her. "And if it is?"  
  
I didn't get any details out of her at that meeting. But Aeryn did agree to speak with me  
the next day. Delighted, I brought along a tape recorder and paper. While wary of them, she  
allowed me to use them. Aeryn Sun gave me five interviews before going back to wherever she  
came from. They are included below. Perhaps you will think she's crazy. I don't.  
  
Session 1, 1/5/61 - Who are you? -  
subject: Aeryn Sun  
age: undetermined  
status: Under Review  
(DP)Dr. Phillips  
(AS)Aeryn Sun   
  
Patient is docile and cooperative.  
  
(DP): Let's start with a question. Who are you?  
(AS): My name is Aeryn Sun. What else?  
(DP): That's your name. I want to know details about you. What makes you Aeryn Sun?  
  
Patient is quiet for several minutes  
  
(AS): I was born on the command carrier Itzak. My parents were both soldiers. They're dead.   
I-.  
(DP): Ok, hold on a second. I'm a bit confused. What is a command carrier?  
  
Patient appears conflicted. Proceeds.  
  
(AS): I can't explain what a command carrier is until you know about the peacekeepers.  
(DP): Like the U.N. forces?  
(AS): I have no idea what the frell you're talking about.  
(DP): Hold on a second.  
  
I'm beginning to see a pattern here.   
  
(DP): Let's hold off on that for the moment. Why are you here?  
(AS): Well, John always wanted me to see it. The real Earth I mean. After he died, finding his  
home felt like the right thing to do.  
(DP): John would be your husband? (I chose to ignore the Earth comment)  
(AS): For the last fifty-five cycles, yes.  
(DP): I take it that cycles are years. (Patient nods) May I inquire about your age?  
(AS): Ninety one "years"  
(DP): Congratulations, you've aged very well. (Patient blushes)  
(AS): Sebacean life-spans are longer than human's.   
(DP): Ok, I'll bite. So you're an alien?  
(AS): I'm Sebacean. We look like humans but tend to be superior in most respects.  
  
Patient laughs at something. She won't share it with me.  
  
(DP): Back to your husband. How did you two meet? Was he Sebacean?  
(AS): Oh no. He was human like you.  
(DP): What's his last name?  
(AS): This is confidential right? You won't say anything?  
(DP): I swear.  
(AS): His name was John Crichton. I met him on Moya.  
  
Note: Checked out the name. Real guy but he supposedly died in a space shuttle experiment.   
Spooky.  
  
(DP): Moya? Never mind for now.   
(AS): A living ship.  
(DP): I'm interested in why you decided to come to Earth. How did John die?  
  
Patient becomes emotional. A scary sight actually. That stare alone could punch a hole through a  
brick wall. Apparently this is a sensitive subject.  
  
(AS): John was crazy. This place is as good as any to see if he was right about you. (Through  
tears)  
(DP): About me?  
(AS): About humans. The first time, he died of radiation exposure. Recently, it was old age.  
(DP): I'm very sorr-. Did you just say what I think you just said?  
(AS): Which part?  
(DP): About him dying twice.  
(AS): He did.  
(DP): I see. How did that happen?  
(AS): Frell you! I knew you wouldn't believe what I had to say. I don't need this you know.   
Pilot said it would help but-.  
(DP): Wait please. I just need to understand where this is all coming from. Maybe you could  
start from the beginning.  
(AS): That could take a while.  
(DP): Ok, how about we meet again in a few days?  
  
Patient nods and then stands to leave the room. I notice something now. She walks like a soldier.  
My father was in the army. I recognize it. Aeryn seems to have created some vast fantasy world.   
But to what end?   
  
End of session 1   
  
-January 9th, 2061-  
  
My wife was pissed as hell at me last night. We have this sort of unspoken rule about not  
bringing work home with us. As involving as my job may be, I always manage to leave it within  
the depressingly white walls of Roaming Hills. The problem is, last night it found me. It was  
about 12:45 when the phone rang. Lydia must have sensed who it was on the other line because  
she was mad before I got a chance to answer it. That woman scares me sometimes. This is a case  
file though, and I shouldn't be talking about my personal life.  
  
The call was from Nurse Sprick back at the hospital. This worried me right off the bat  
because Jane never calls unless there's an emergency. Thankfully, the situation wasn't as bad as I  
had thought. Then again, she probably wouldn't agree with me on that one. It appeared that  
Aeryn Sun, patient #145, wasn't following the rules. I must say that I was a bit worried about  
what exactly that meant.   
  
Jane refuses to write in the case files for some reason that I cannot even begin to imagine.   
As always, we fight over it for a little while until I agree to do it myself. Here is a second hand  
account of what occurred early this morning:  
  
One of our sternest rules here at the hospital is that patients may not have anything that  
can be used as a weapon. I can personally vouch for the practicality of this rule (see opening  
remarks). According to Nurse Sprick, she found our patient in the gym with what appeared to be  
a thin piece of brown metal. Now, I have no idea where Aeryn would have hidden this object.   
Nor do I wish to find out. But rules are rules, especially if not all your lights are on.  
  
It's safe to say that Nurse Sprick's attempt to retrieve the object did not go well. Despite  
her training in subduement and defense, she wasn't able to get it back. To put it bluntly, Aeryn  
had kicked my chief nurse's ass. Needless to say, Jane was quite upset about having to sport a  
cast to work the next day. She didn't seem disturbed by the pain though. I'll have to bring the  
matter up at Aeryn's next session.  
  
Session 2, 1/10/61 - Peacekeepers -  
subject: Aeryn Sun  
age: 91 (probably closer to 40)  
status: Under Review  
(DP)Dr. Phillips  
(AS)Aeryn Sun   
(JS)Jane Sprick  
  
Patient is noticeably more fidgety today. She appears to be nervous about something.  
  
(DP): Are you ready Aeryn?   
(AS): I may have changed my mind.  
(DP): May I ask why?  
(AS): Shut up, I'm trying to think.  
  
  
Patient proceeds to think for about ten minutes.   
  
(AS): Frell it, I'm ready.  
(DP): You spoke about the peacekeepers last time. Why don't we start with that?  
(AS): (breaths deeply) A majority of Sebaceans are either bred to military service or enlisted by  
their parents as children. Their purpose is to keep order (sarcastically).  
(DP): And you are a peacekeeper?  
(AS): I was a peacekeeper. Not anymore.  
  
I'm getting ahead of myself.  
  
(DP): You were born on the Itzak? A command carrier I believe you said.  
(AS): It's their largest vessel. A floating fortress. I was born and raised on the Itzak. It's where  
I became a soldier.  
(DP): What about parents?  
  
Patient's face tightens up. She looks like she wants to cry but doesn't. At least never in front of  
me.  
  
(AS): A mother and a father. But I was never aloud to see them. None of us were allowed to see  
our parents.   
(DP): So you don't know who they are?  
(AS): (hesitates) I met my mother cycles later. But she wasn't the same person anymore.  
(DP): Explain that.  
(AS): Peacekeepers aren't supposed to form attachments to sexual partners or children. My  
parents broke that rule with me.  
(DP): They were reprimanded?  
(AS): My mother was forced to kill my father in order to save me. Whatever love she held onto  
died with him.  
  
Abandonment issues? Perhaps killing is metaphor for divorce.  
  
(DP): What happened when you met your mother?  
(AS): No.  
(DP): You don't want to talk about it?  
(AS): Move on now please.  
  
Maternal issues? Maybe not so alien after all.  
  
(DP): So you were a peacekeeper for how long?  
(AS): I was a peacekeeper for 28 cycles. (Shame, maybe, on her face)  
(DP): But you weren't like the others?  
(AS): I was no better than any other. There were very few special ones.  
(DP): Special how?  
  
  
This could be very important  
  
(AS): There was a man I knew. His name was....  
(DP): Yes?  
(AS): His name was Velorek. He was special.  
(DP): You look unhappy. What happened to Vel-, him?  
(AS): I killed him.  
  
The reference to killing again. Following in her mother's footsteps? Possible problems relating to  
men.  
  
(DP): Why did you kill him?  
(AS): I was afraid.  
(DP): (I think I'm getting this) Afraid to admit you were special too?  
(AS): Things were very different back then.  
(DP): I can see that.   
  
(Peace) (keeper) Possible bad experiences early on with men. Attempts to make the other happy  
leaving her empty?  
  
(AS): Is this helping?   
(DP): Definitely.   
(AS): I don't see how. John was always so frelling fond of talking. I suppose it makes sense to  
you.  
(DP): Communication helps us understand who we are.   
(AS): But I wasn't anyone back then.  
  
No identity. Defined by her affiliations.  
  
(DP): So how did you go from a peacekeeper to this?  
(AS): To what?  
(DP): You're a very complex person Aeryn. That doesn't happen overnight.  
(AS): Is that a polite way of saying I'm mentally unbalanced?  
(DP): (how to answer that?) People, any kind of people, are complicated. You broke free from a  
very rigid mind set. I want to know how that happened.  
(AS): Moya.  
  
Door opens before we can continue. Nurse Sprick enters.  
  
(AS): Is this a group session now?  
(DP): Just hold on a minute Aeryn. What's wrong Jane?  
(JS): I just wanted to say goodnight. My replacement's just arrived.  
(DP): I thought you were scheduled until tonight?  
(JS): Doctor's appointment.  
(DP): You mean a real doctor?  
(JS): You said that, not me. Next time my fragile sense of self fractures, I'll stop in.  
(DP): See you tomorrow then.  
  
Nurse Sprick exits. Patient appears hostile.  
  
(DP): What's wrong Aeryn?  
(AS): (voice low) You shouldn't do that. It hurts.  
(DP): Do what?  
(AS): Don't give me that dren. That's shit for you, human. You know.  
(DP): JA-, Nurse Sprick? Is this about her trying to take your thing away?  
(AS): It's mine! She has no right to take it from me.   
(DP): There are rules Aeryn.  
(AS): Don't tell me about rules. It's quite obvious.  
  
We've lost our focus for today.   
  
(DP): I think we should stop for today. We can talk about Moya next time.  
(AS): If that's what you want.  
(DP): This isn't about me Aeryn. You should know that.  
  
Patient doesn't answer right away. I suddenly realize she's looking at my wedding ring.  
  
(AS): I don't want to talk to you anymore for today. Don't come to my room and don't send  
your friend to steal my things.  
(DP): What? What did I do wrong?  
  
She's staring at me. It's uncomfortable as hell. I suddenly realize-.  
  
(AS): Jenevia.  
  
Patient stands up and walks out of the room.   
  
End of Session 2  
  
There's definitely a pattern emerging here. No, I'm not talking about the short sessions.   
Most of my patients can't talk for long periods of time. This whole thing with Aeryn's parents  
and the man Velorek. The abandonment/divorce angle seems to fit but I'm not quite sure yet.   
That's reason enough for her to be distant. People closed off from the world are likely to make  
up their own as a substitute. True, never have I seen something quite this complete.   
  
I'm going to try and find out what Aeryn did to get in here. It wasn't listed on her file and  
may give a clue as to what's really going on. There's still so much she hasn't told me yet. I think  
John Crichton and the living ship idea must figure in big time. A stable support structure? A  
surrogate mother figure?  
  
-January 13th, 2061-  
  
Ok, I'm going to make a sweeping generalization. Stand back. Police officers do not  
know how to write case reports. After our meeting, I got in contact with the local p.d. and asked  
for Aeryn's file. There's something about all this that I'm still not getting. Sure, plenty of  
patients come in here and claim to be things they're not. I've had someone claim to be Pauly  
Shore. Who the hell would claim to be Pauly Shore? Anyway, after some haggling, the cop on  
desk duty told me to come over and pick the file up.  
  
From what I've heard of Aeryn's story, there are already some tried and true patterns  
emerging. But there's got to be a trigger somewhere in there. Patients can usually recall a  
moment when their delusions started. Even if they don't believe the delusion part. Aeryn's story  
is just that. A story with an ending and an up-to-date chronology. Of course, I haven't heard  
everything yet. Maybe that one moment is still inside her waiting to be heard.  
  
Regarding the police report, It wasn't exactly the eye-opening bit of information I was  
hoping for. The cited reason for arrest was assault on a police officer. That doesn't warrant  
getting sent to the looney bin. Apparently, the hardware she was packing did the trick. As I said  
above, policemen aren't poets so I'll have to paraphrase.  
  
About a week before Aeryn Sun arrived here at Roaming Hills State Hospital, she was  
spotted walking down Main and Westmont. That's just down the street from my house actually.   
Lydia goes shopping there all the time with her girlfriends, when I'm too busy working. The  
incident occurred at an electronics store called Wireless Joe's. It seems this Joe is quite a  
perceptive guy. He spotted a woman dressed head-to-toe in leather coming into his store. Aeryn  
was wearing hospital blue the first time I saw her.  
  
The item in question was one of those ancient tape recorder things you find in the novelty  
shops, the ones that still require an actual tape. Aeryn tried to walk out of the store with it. Mr.  
Joe called the police and then approached our resident alien. A short description was listed on the  
file and I'm including it below.  
  
(J): Hey, you gonna pay for that?  
(A): I was. How much do you want for it?  
(J): This ain't no auction house lady. The price tag says $15  
(A): I don't have fifteen dollars (credits? is written here in pen)  
(J): Well, then you can't have it.  
(A): F*** that! (I doubt this)  
  
It doesn't really sound like the Aeryn I've been speaking with and this next part doesn't  
either. Aeryn pulled out a black gun-like object and started firing wildly. No bullets were found  
at the scene. A baseball bat was found and some strange burn marks on the floor. When the cops  
arrived, Aeryn turned her weapon on them. Nothing happened.  
  
The guy at the front desk wouldn't let me see the gun. He did say that it looked like one  
of those ray guns you buy your kids for Christmas. Well, I don't have any kids and that sounds  
like the biggest cliche in the history of unconventional psychiatry. A woman claiming to be an  
alien fires at police with a strange weapon that no one can get to work. It looks like a gun, it feels  
like a gun, but alas, it is not a gun.   
  
After that, it's pretty much standard stuff. Aeryn was taken into custody and put in  
prison. Her fingerprints didn't show up in the database but that's not terribly unusual. Besides  
trying to kill innocent shopkeepers, Aeryn found her way into my clutches by screaming all night  
and attempting to talk into a small brown object that was never recovered. That sounds familiar.  
  
  
Session 3, 1/15/61 - Moya -  
subject: Aeryn Sun  
age: 91 (probably closer to 40)  
status: Under Review  
(DP)Dr. Phillips  
(AS)Aeryn Sun   
  
Patient enters the room alone and sits in her chair. It's important to know that she's no longer  
accompanied by a hospital attendant (someone's always watching though). She's been allowed  
some walking time outside. Thus far, Aeryn hasn't abused the privilege.  
  
(DP): Before we get started, have you enjoyed being outside?  
(AS): Yes, thank you. It's strange, but I actually missed being in this sun.  
(DP): Most patients try to escape their first time out.  
(AS): I've had no reason to.  
  
She hasn't had a reason? As in not yet?  
  
(AS): We're not going to talk about it are we?  
(DP): Talk about what?  
(AP): You frelling humans. Expecting everyone to talk when you won't open your own mouth.  
(JS): John kept things from you?  
(AS): (suddenly defensive) When it was necessary.  
(DP): Some things aren't meant to be shared.   
  
Some might call that a contradictory statement.  
  
(AS): How can you tell the difference?  
(DP): Alright, I think it's time we get to Moya.  
(AS): Whenever you're ready.  
(DP): You said that's when things changed. I want to know why.  
(AP): John, the others. Frell, even Rygel.   
  
She's getting ahead of me again. I think this could be what I've been looking for.  
  
  
(DP): Save John for next time. I want to keep him separate for the moment. Tell me about these  
others.  
(AS): Always ready to follow orders, sir.  
(DP): I-.  
(AS): If we're skipping John, I suppose Pilot was the first to impact me. I don't know what he  
thought of me in the beginning. But he was the only one who didn't chastize me for being a  
peacekeeper.  
(DP): Never?  
(AS): Not then. We worked together well and he appreciated that. I'd always been used to being  
around pilots. Maybe that helped.  
(DP): You were a pilot?  
(AS): I flew small peacekeeper attack ships. They're called prowlers.   
(DP): Not exactly the same thing as a living ship.  
  
Crap! She didn't like that.  
  
(AS): No, I guess not.  
(DP): So, that's it? You two had a good working relationship?  
(AS): That's all you're going to get human.  
  
Patient drops me back to human every time I seem to hit a nerve. She's not telling me everything.  
  
(DP): Ok then. Who's Rygel?  
(AS): If you insist. He's a Hynerion. They're small, green creatures. Tiny, but fat enough for  
three stomachs. (pauses to laugh) Treacherous little bastards.  
(DP): You weren't friends?  
(AS): I lived with that slug for eight cycles and we were never what you'd call friends.  
(DP): So what were you?  
(AS): Allies when it suited him, enemies when it didn't, and crewmates when he needed one.  
  
Pilot a friend and Rygel a rival? Somehow I can't see a fat little slug competing with her. Maybe  
the descriptions are figurative after all.  
  
(DP): So at one point you got along?  
(AS): He had this uncanny knack for getting something just right when you were ready to kill  
him. Oh, and he never apologized.  
(DP): Did you?  
(AS): Why would I apologize?  
(DP): Never mind. What happened after eight cycles?  
(AS): Rygel went home. Happiest day of his life. At least that's what he tells us.  
(DP): Some people never change.  
(AS): Some.  
  
I'm definitely getting a negative/positive vibe from this one. What the textbooks call a love/hate  
relationship....  
  
(AS): Then there's D'Argo. I was wrong about him right from the start.  
(DP): What species is he? (I should have asked this question right away with the others)  
(AS): He's a Luxan. They're a race of warriors known for thick skin and empty craniums.  
(DP): But D'Argo wasn't like that?  
(AS): I though so at first. He seemed like just another dumb brute. Savage and waiting to be  
tamed.   
(DP): Are you sure that's not what happened?  
(AS): (she smiles) The opposite actually. There came a time when he had to keep me acting  
reasonably.   
  
I have an older brother. He only seemed smart when I was young and stupid.  
  
(AS): I miss him.   
(DP): What happened?  
(AS): D'Argo's where he belongs.  
  
Patient mumbles something to herself. It seems like anger but I can see that she's still smiling.  
  
(DP): What was that?  
(AS): It's nothing.  
(DP): I thought I heard something. China?  
(AS): Chiana.  
(DP): Another member of the crew?  
(AS): Impatient, Immoral, Irresponsible, and many other bad things. That little trelk....  
  
hate/hate relationship?  
  
(DP): You two didn't like each other?  
(AS): I didn't like her for a very long time. (starts to break up) She was braver than all of us in  
the end and I never got the chance to tell her how much..  
(DP): How much what?  
(AS): In some twisted way, I loved her. (quickly adds) Like a sister.  
  
!!!!! I'd have to check my notes to be sure. I think that's the first time that Aeryn's used the word  
love.  
  
(AS): Chiana was a Nebari. Where she came from, there was only one way to grow up. Now  
that I think of it, our upbringing wasn't all that different. Chiana was her own person long before  
me. I think I envied her. Saw in her opportunities I never got to have.  
(DP): So she was a rebel?  
(AS): Quite an accomplished one.  
  
Patient leans forward in her chair and closes her eyes. These people she talks about, they're  
definitely important. Whoever they are and wherever they came from, it seems that Aeryn's  
change stems from them. An assault from several different personalities and cultures would  
definitely challenge a rigid soldier like the one she describes. If its true at all.  
  
(DP): All of you living together in an enclosed space, it's a wonder you didn't kill each other.  
  
Patient whips up to look at me. There's something hard in her eyes all of the sudden. I suddenly  
feel cold.  
  
(AS): Zhaan.  
(DP): What?  
(AS): She's the one who kept us together. Zhaan made us a family, a crew.  
  
Mother figure! Her real one definitely didn't fill the job requirement. This Zhaan seems like a  
likely candidate.  
  
(DP): What's Zhaan?  
(AS): She's a Delvian. They're blue but formed like any Sebacean or Human. Also, they're  
plants.  
(DP): Good Mother Earth huh?  
(DP): Never mind. Why was she so important?  
(AS): Zhaan knew the worst in all of us. She loved us regardless. She loved me.  
(DP): You think it's difficult for someone to love you?  
(AS): It must be.  
  
Tricky answer to that one. Abandoned children usually feel like they're unworthy of love. Patient  
doesn't seem to have that problem. Something else though. Maybe worse.  
  
(DP): What happened to Zhaan?  
(AS): I'm alive and she's dead.  
(DP): It was your fault?  
(AS): My fault, John's fault, Scorpius.  
(DP): Scorpius? That's new.  
  
Patient pulls something out of her pocket. It's the little brown object. Her hands seem to go limp  
as she touched it. She's looking up at me now. I think that's my cue to leave.  
  
(DP): You want to stop for today?  
(AS): Just today?  
  
I don't answer and she doesn't wait for me to reply. Patient stands and leaves the room. The  
door slams hard. This could take a very long time. Something tells me she's not willing to  
commit. Then why didn't she try to escape? My head hurts.  
  
End of Session 3   
- January 17th, 2061 -   
  
How should I proceed? What can I possibly to do snap this woman out of her delusions?   
Sorry, but I've been hit by a wave of self-doubt in the last few hours. It's around eleven at night  
and I'm barricaded in my study. The phone's off the hook (who would call at this hour anyway?)  
and Lydia's been told to stay clear. She isn't happy about this. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that  
she's very upset. That little rule I talked about before, not bringing work home, it's been thrown  
out the window.  
  
Aeryn's session notes are spread out in front of me. So many different clues to follow.   
The adopted family with issues to go around. A whole sore patch with her real one. This  
Crichton guy, he's definitely on my list. But where does this all lead? There's no point in pooling  
all this garbled information if I'm not going to do anything with it. Maybe it's something we  
haven't covered yet. I still don't know what went down with Crichton. What he may have done  
to her. The peacekeeper she talks about isn't the person I've met. Yes, it's got to be this guy.  
  
Now, aside from all these people, what've we got. I took a recording of her voice to a  
colleague of mine. Actually, he's an old buddy from college. This guy specializes in dialects. If  
her accent is Earth-born, he'd know. Sounds crazy right? Well, there's nothing wrong with  
covering all the bases. Surprise, surprise. He's never heard anything like it before. Does that  
make her an alien? I'm not that open minded.  
  
What's been really burning my ass lately is the brown object. There's a fragile trust  
between a doctor and his patient. I can't just go in and take it. Nurse Sprick is proof enough that  
Aeryn's not going to let it go willingly. Let's not involve Jane any further. Better not to agitate  
the patient. Should I go in while she's sleeping? It doesn't seem right. I get the feeling that  
Aeryn will catch me and she won't let it go. I'll see how this next session goes. Maybe things  
will be clearer then.  
  
Session 4, 1/20/61 - Crichton -  
subject: Aeryn Sun  
age: 91 (probably closer to 40)  
status: Under Review  
(DP)Dr. Phillips  
(AS)Aeryn Sun  
  
Patient flatly refused to come to the interview room today. After much pleading, she agreed to  
hold the session in her room. Never done this before. I almost feel like an intruder. Aeryn isn't  
helping.  
  
(DP): Hello Aeryn. Are you feeling better today?  
(AS): How the frell do you think I am? That trelk made me take the pills again.  
  
She's referring to Nurse Sprick. Been that way since session 2.  
  
(DP): Everyone has to take them. We can't make an exception.  
(AS): So you've decided. I'm just another lunatic.  
(DP): I haven't decided anything yet.  
(AS): What topic have you chosen for today?  
(DP): John Crichton.  
  
Patient freezes up. I can see a distant look in her eyes. She's remembering something. There's  
no doubt this has huge significance. Have to let her tell the story.  
  
(AS): We met that first time on Moya. I was a peacekeeper, he wasn't anything to me.  
(DP): Peacekeepers don't deal with lower species. (this was supposed to be a statement. Came  
out like a question)  
(AS): At first I thought he was a soldier out of uniform. But his behavior quickly negated that  
possibility. John was....himself.  
(DP): Himself?  
(AS): He smiled when he saw me. Probably happy to see someone who looked human. I  
knocked him on his ass. Wiped that cocky smile right off his face.  
(DP): But you were wrong about him.  
  
Patient smiles. She nods her head but doesn't answer.  
  
(DP): So, what happened after that? Why did you go with him?  
(AS): I didn't have much choice. Crais would have killed me.  
(DP): Crais?  
(AS): My superior officer, Captain Crais. John accidently killed his brother when he got there.   
Crais wanted him dead and I just happened to be there.  
  
Not even going to try and explain that.  
  
(DP): So it was John or death?  
(AS): I chose death actually. He wouldn't let me go through with it.   
(DP): I can't see him forcing you. How did he convince you?  
(AS): He said I could be more. Velorek said that to me too.  
(DP): More what?  
  
Patient appears angry.  
  
(AS): Well, at least I know it wasn't a line. I didn't understand it then either.  
(DP): When did you realize it?  
(AS): It didn't happen all at once. But I think I know when it started.  
(DP): Go on.  
(AS): The first time I saw him with someone else. With Gilina.  
(DP): Another woman?  
(AS): I had taken for granted that he wasn't just there for me to boss around.   
(DP): You were jealous.   
  
  
She isn't angry anymore. That smile is back. I think John must have loved that smile.  
  
(AS): Something a peacekeeper is never supposed to feel.  
(DP): But you weren't one of those anymore.  
(AS): It's not that easy to let them go.  
(DP): Did he know how you felt?  
(AS): No, I couldn't tell him then. I didn't even know what it was for sure. Actually, I did tell  
him. But I wasn't ready.  
(DP): What happened next?  
  
The brown object! I can't believe I didn't notice it before. Patient is wearing a brown overcoat  
from our dress-up closet. The brown thing is stuck to the shirt she's wearing underneath. Patient  
reaches for it every few minutes.  
  
(AS): He offered to take me to Earth. I had nowhere to go and he offered himself.  
(DP): What did you do?  
(AS): What could I do? I said no.  
(DP): Did you mean it?  
(AS): At that point, yes. I wasn't ready for that much of a change. Plus, his chances of getting  
back were non-existent.  
(DP): Hmm (can't think of anything to say)  
  
Patient looks up at me for a moment. She shakes her head and then continues.  
  
(AS): The flax.  
(DP): You're going to have to explain that.  
(AS): It doesn't matter what it was. The point is that, John and I, got caught in it. We thought  
we were going to die.  
(DP): Relationships started under stress tend not to last.  
(AS): Well frell that. It worked for us.  
(DP): So that's when you both knew?  
(AS): I can't speak for John but it was for me. Scared me to death. It felt right.  
  
She taps the brown thing. I'm getting a good look now. Some sort of communication device?  
  
(AS): What are you looking at?  
(DP): Sorry, I was looking at that.  
(AS): It's mine.  
(DP): I wasn't going to take it.  
(AS): You've caught me in a verbal mood. Don't waste it human.  
(DP): Ok, let's move on then.   
  
Patient flinches. No explanation.  
  
(AS): I got stabbed.  
(DP): What? How?  
(AS): Peacekeeper. I allowed myself to remember the past for a moment and it punished me.  
(DP): How bad was it?  
(AS): I would've died.  
(DP): But John saved you?  
(AS): He risked his life to save me. It's my fault he got caught. The Aurora Chair, Scorpius, it  
was my fault.  
(DP): Scorpius? You talked about him last time.  
(AS): Skip it.   
  
She's still got some soldier in her. I'm afraid to even mention the name again.  
  
(DP): If we're going to skip it, you have to tell me where to go next.  
(AS): The Velorek thing. When John found out.  
(DP): You told him?  
(AS): You're learning.   
(DP): How did he react?  
(AS): John paused for a moment. It was the strangest thing.  
(DP): Paused?  
(AS): He just stopped talking. I was almost sure then.   
(DP): Why?  
(AS): I felt bad. For a moment, I was more worried about how it affected him than me.  
  
Note to self: pause next time Lydia yells at me.  
  
(DP): But you didn't tell him.  
(AS): I was still afraid. It was all new to me. I was clinging to what I used to be.  
(DP): Did he push you at all?  
(AS): Why would he push me? I hadn't hit him in a long time.  
(DP): (???) I mean push you to say how you felt.  
(AS): On the Royal Planet. They all "pushed" me then.  
  
Royal Planet? I'll just have to let her explain this one.  
  
(DP): What happened there?  
(AS): John was forced to marry someone else. I got angry, I-.  
(DP): Forced to marry someone? Why?  
(AS): The princess, they were genetically compatible. For mating.  
(DP): And you told him to fight the marriage.  
(AS): Yes, but not why.  
(DP): Wouldn't that be obvious?  
(AS): He needed to hear me say it. I couldn't.  
  
Patient looks up as someone passes by the window. I'm looking now too. It's Jane.  
  
  
(AS): Isn't that convenient.  
(DP): What do you mean?  
(AS): Jenavia.  
  
Oh-oh. I thought we'd covered this already. What the hell am I supposed to do? Think of the  
line, think of the line.  
  
(DP): Who is she?  
(AS): She helped Crichton while I was away.   
(DP): Where did you go.  
(AS): Rock climbing with an idiot. Jenavia was a peacekeeper spy.  
(DP): If she helped John, what's the problem?  
(AS): (very quietly) He slept with her.  
  
Oh shit.  
  
(DP): (I blurted this out) I did not sleep with Nurse Sprick!  
(AS): Good for you.  
(DP): But you're judging me for something I haven't done.  
(AS): So you've never considered it? Why are we talking about this anyway?  
(DP): What? I didn't bring it up!  
(AS): You did.  
(DP): Ok, fine. Please, let's just continue.  
(AS): Whenever you're ready.  
  
I might want to consider editing that last part out.   
  
(DP): How did everything get fixed?  
(AS): John got out of the marriage and we left the planet. I did do something though.  
(DP): What?  
(AS): I tested our compatibility.   
(DP): Match?  
  
Patient nods and manages a weak smile.  
  
(DP): So why didn't you tell him then? You loved him didn't you?  
(AS): Yes, I loved him. But other things got in the way.  
(DP): What could possibly have gotten in the way?  
(AS): Parasites, Nebari, Shadow Depositories, neural chips. Shall I continue?  
(DP): I have no idea what any of that means. Just give me what's important.  
(AS): The one I spoke about before, Scorpius. He put something in John's brain. It made him  
crazy.   
(DP): How so?  
(AS): John saw things. Things that were only real for him. They made him do things. Made him  
tell his secrets.  
(DP): What secrets?  
(AS): How to get home.  
  
The idea that springs to mind is that Crichton showed his true colors. Maybe he wasn't such a  
good guy after all. Aeryn might not be able to deal with that after so much bottled up emotion.   
But that doesn't explain the fifty-five year marriage she spoke about. Kind of blows my theory  
out of the water.  
  
(DP): How did John get over it?  
(AS): We took him to a doctor. John got the chip out of his head. I didn't get to see that.  
(DP): Why not?  
(AS): Near the end, he couldn't control himself anymore. The monster inside was taking over. It  
killed me.  
  
Wtf?  
  
(DP): Literally?  
(AS): It tried to escape in John's ship. I followed with the prowler. My emotion got the better of  
me.  
(DP): But, he killed you?  
(AS): I crashed into a frozen lake. Dead.  
(DP): What was that like?  
(AS): Under different circumstances, I might have liked staying there. But I couldn't leave John.  
(DP): I'm confused. How could you be dead and then not?  
(AS): Zhaan.  
  
!!!!!! "I'm alive and she's dead." This is what she was talking about. Mother figure gives up life  
for daughter. Could definitely make something out of that. But what?  
  
(DP): I think we should stop for today.  
(AS): There's a lot more.  
(DP): I realize that. Would I be right in assuming that things changed after you came back.  
(AS): They did.  
(DP): Well, then I want to understand this part before we move on to the second.  
(AS): Do as you like.   
  
Patient lies back in her bed and closes her eyes. She looks tired and almost vulnerable like that. I  
don't really need to understand anything. I don't think that's possible anymore. But I need a  
break before hearing the rest. This story is too complicated for me. I should probably be passing  
it on to someone more qualified. Sure, after I hear what happens.  
  
End of Session 4  
  
  
- January 21st, 2061 -  
  
$15 isn't such a bad deal for a tape recorder. I keep thinking back to that moment. What  
she said about Crichton. He paused. Whatever there was between them, I can't understand it.   
That fact, no matter how small it may feel, has been plaguing me since yesterday. Aeryn isn't  
crazy. I can't explain that statement. Can't even begin to comprehend what my superiors will say  
when they read this mess. I stopped at Wireless Joe's this morning before coming to work.  
  
It was just as I'd imagined it. A small silver box with the plastic tape holder. Some brand  
that's long gone into bankruptcy. Paid for it out of my own pocket. This isn't a technique for  
therapy, I just don't know what else to do. Aeryn Sun isn't an alien. I don't believe that. Aliens  
don't exist. If they did, doesn't it make sense that they wouldn't have to worry about stuff like  
this? She wanted the tape recorder, I'm going to give it to her. Maybe she'll get what she wants.   
The puzzle could be solved, and at least I'll be content.  
  
I went home last night and looked at my wife. Lydia was asleep in our bed. Her face isn't  
as harsh when she's gone to wherever she was. She looks happy for the first time in I can't  
remember how long. Did I do this? Have I kept my feelings hidden because I couldn't face  
them? Listen to me, I should have the cell next to Aeryn's. The situation at work, with Jane. It's  
gone on long enough. I love my wife. I need my wife. Lydia needs me.  
  
I'm going to put the tape recorder in her room. Aeryn can take it from there.  
  
Session 5, 1/25/61 - The Rest -   
subject: Aeryn Sun  
age: 91 (probably closer to 40)  
status: Under Review  
(DP)Dr. Phillips  
(AS)Aeryn Sun  
  
Patient comes willingly to the interview room. She knocks softly on the door before entering.   
I'm jotting notes down. Aeryn isn't my only patient. The alleged alien smiles at me. I can see the  
red in her eyes. She's been crying.   
  
(DP): I hope those are happy tears.  
(AS): I-, I didn't get much sleep last night.  
(DP): Any particular reason?  
(AS): They brought someone new in. There was....screaming.  
  
Something's definitely happened since the last time. No trace of the soldier here. Aeryn's  
wearing the brown object again. She's not hiding it.  
  
(DP): I was hoping we could start from where we left off.  
(AS): With me dying?  
(DP): Uh...yeah.  
(AS): Zhaan gave her life for mine. I couldn't waste the chance.  
(DP): So you told him?  
(AS): John told me first. He said I belonged with him.  
(DP): Even after he killed you.  
(AS): Especially after.  
  
Why am I bothering? Death as cleansing tool, washes away their past mistakes for a fresh start.   
It could be a metaphor for anything.  
  
(DP): It didn't matter?  
(AS): Why did it have to? All these things keeping us apart. Only because we let them.  
(DP): It just seems strange that you would be able to trust him.  
(AS): You sound like D'Argo.  
(DP): He didn't trust Crichton?  
(AS): No, he just knew what I was like. Any reason to back away.  
(DP): But you didn't.  
(AS): Not anymore.  
  
Her voice got lower on that last part. Something's going to happen. They're not out of it yet.   
Listen to me.  
  
(DP): So you lived happily ever after?  
(AS): It doesn't work that way on Moya.  
(DP): What then?  
(AS): John was split.  
(DP): Split?  
(AS): An alien criminal named Kaarvoc. He split John into two identical duplicates.   
(DP): Like clones?  
(AS): No, they were both the same person. Though I didn't believe that at first.  
  
Soap Opera time.  
  
(DP): So you had to choose between them?  
(AS): I didn't have a choice. The crew got separated and I got stuck with one of them.  
(DP): Why the separation?  
(AS): My mother.  
(DP): Are we going to talk about her now?  
(AS): If we have to. Just her, no details.  
(DP): Whatever you say.  
(AS): She hated me. I was the reason she lost everything. The reason she'd been forced to kill  
my father.  
  
Back to the abandonment issues. Or maybe not. Mothers with abusive husbands have done  
violent things to protect their children. It's possible that she could feel resentment towards the  
child.  
  
  
(DP): What happened between you?  
(AS): I tried to save her. Tried to show her what I'd learned. What it was like to be free.  
(DP): But she didn't listen?  
  
Patient is starting to break up. She isn't crying but her ears looked glazed over. Her entire face  
looks like its screaming in pain. It's making me uncomfortable.  
  
(AS): She chose death over me. But Crais didn't kill her.  
(DP): Crais? I thought he was the bad guy.  
(AS): Shut the frell up. You're getting ahead of me.  
(DP): Sorry, go on.  
(AS): The John I was left with, he did it.  
(DP): What?  
(AS): I finally let everything go. It hurt to much to hold everything back. My body couldn't take  
it anymore.  
(DP): But there was two of him.  
(AS): I let myself forget. I ruined everything.  
  
She blames herself for what happened. It's good to know there's a light at the end of this tunnel.  
  
(DP): He died.  
(AS): The information in his head. A mechanic named Furlow, she figured it out.  
(DP): Let me guess, she wasn't on your side.  
(AS): It was my fault! I'm the one who made John give it to her.   
(DP): I'm sure you didn't know this would happen.  
(AS): The best frelling intentions. He's dead! I could have prevented it.  
(DP): You said he died of radiation exposure.  
(AS): Stopping the information from getting out. Protecting innocent lives.  
  
I already had the impression that she revered him. This Crichton sounds like a bonafide hero.  
  
(AS): He was a hero, and heroes always get killed.  
(DP): That's kind of pessimistic.  
(AS): You don't know.  
(DP): What did you do?  
(AS): I'd lost him. My reason, the one reason I had to grow.  
(DP): What about the others? Your friends?  
(AS): Whose telling the story?  
(DP): Sorry.  
  
I hadn't really thought of that. All this time I figured she was humoring me. No choice but to  
spill the beans to the doctor. Maybe she just needed to tell someone. Maybe I'm the one getting  
therapy. Freaky.  
  
(AS): I couldn't see anything more for myself. Not without him. My grief was too strong.  
(DP): Your mother?  
(AS): She wasn't done with me. I almost died then because of my grief.  
(DP): Why didn't she kill you?  
(AS): It was her choice not mine. We both had to live with what we'd done. Her love for me  
was still buried deep down somewhere. I should have remembered that. It would have made  
things easier.  
(DP): Did you forgive her?  
(AS): She was still my mother.   
(DP): Do you think she forgave you?  
(AS): On good days. Sometimes, I-.  
  
Patient closes her eyes. She looks older than she did a few minutes ago. The pain's still there  
after so long. That kind of pain never goes away.  
  
(DP): I don't need to hear anymore. We can move on.  
(AS) (composing herself) Fine.  
(DP): What happened with the other John?  
(AS): I couldn't handle it. He was a reminder of everything I'd lost.  
(DP): But you hadn't actually lost him. He was the same guy.  
(AS): Easier said than believed.  
(DP): You didn't think he was a copy did you?  
(AS): I told myself that. It made things simpler. But no, he wasn't a copy. He was John  
Crichton.  
  
No more bull-sh**. There's definitely growth in what she's telling me. The peacekeeper in her  
isn't strong enough to hold back the emotion.  
  
(DP): What snapped you out of it?  
(AS): Scorpius, of all things.  
(DP): You're going to have to elaborate.  
(AS): John couldn't let him get the wormhole information. It was too dangerous for anyone to  
have it.  
(DP): Playing the hero.  
(AS): And heroes always-.  
(DP): But not this time?  
(AS): I went with him. We did it together.  
(DP): He didn't mind?  
(AS): Mind what?  
  
She knows exactly what I'm talking about.  
  
(DP): That you'd been with the other guy.  
(AS): I didn't realize my sex life was part of this discussion.  
(DP): Well, mine certainly was.  
(AS): You brought that on yourself.  
(DP): John was ok with just being your shipmate.  
(AS): No, I think he wanted to hate me.  
(DP): Do you really think that?  
(AS): I suppose not. It's what I would have felt in his position.  
(DP): So he gave you space.  
(AS): The whole universe.  
  
Patient smiles through her teary expression. I don't want to pity her. She doesn't seem like the  
type of person who would need it. Aeryn's strong despite all that's happened. I admire that at  
least.  
  
(DP): You two went after Scorpius? To kill him?  
(AS): One way or another, we had to stop him.  
(DP): Did you?  
(AS): Barely. We almost died.  
(DP): It must have been getting old by then.  
(AS): Very funny.  
  
There's a loud pop and we both jump out of our seats. Well, Aeryn didn't jump. She just stood  
to attention. I don't see anyone outside. Plus, the noise seemed to be coming from her direction.  
  
(DP): Did you hear that?  
(AS): Hear what? No.  
(DP): Never mind. (Patient suddenly seems eager to continue the conversation)  
(AS): I watched him play the hero again. This John, that John, they were both the same. I  
realized that I was just as afraid of losing this one.  
(DP): You loved him.  
(AS): I love him.  
(DP): And the next sixty years?  
(AS): Oh no, those aren't for you.  
(DP): Why?  
(AS): Some things aren't meant to be shared.  
  
Patient stands and walks out of the room. I don't move from my seat. She just ended the session.   
I feel like I could write a book. Psychology textbook or sci-fi novel? I have no idea. Every  
instinct is telling me that Aeryn's telling the truth. Common sense isn't that important anyway.  
  
End of Session 5  
  
- January 26th, 2061 -   
  
I can't believe this is happening. It's not possible is it? All my romanticizing, it didn't  
prepare me for this. Yesterday's session was an important one. I got to hear the first chapter of  
Aeryn's life. Now she's gone. Her room is empty and she's gone. The security guards have  
searched everywhere. All the rooms only have one occupant. The front door is still locked from  
last night. There's no way she could have gotten past the video cameras.  
  
The call came at six this morning. Nurse Sprick and the others were doing their sunrise  
check. Aeryn wasn't in her cell. She was gone. I kissed Lydia goodbye and raced to work.   
Everything out the window of my car was a blur. The world had tipped over on its side and all  
the contents were spilling out. Come on, let me be dramatic for a little longer. I've earned that  
much.  
  
There were police cars outside the hospital when I got there. The officer that brought  
Aeryn in was standing at the front desk. He didn't look pleased to see me and I responded in  
kind. He reiterated what Jane had said over the phone. Patient #145 was no longer on the  
premises. I ignored him and went to her room. The bed was properly made. It was as if no one  
had lived there for the past few months. Who had lived there?   
  
I thought back to everything Aeryn had told me. Aliens, spaceships, interstellar  
wormholes. None of it made sense to me. Then something snapped. The roof! If I was going  
back to outer space, where would I go? There's a twisted form of common sense.  
  
She wasn't on the roof. There isn't anything to hide behind but I searched anyway. Aeryn  
Sun had shared something about herself with me. Then she vanished into thin air. Well, almost. I  
did find something on that roof. The sun was shining over my head and everything was lit up for  
the world to see. A small brown object lay on the floor. The same thing she wore to our  
sessions. I picked it up and ran my fingers over it. The metal was cold.  
  
It frelling beeped! (I actually said her word) The little brown thing beeped when I touched  
it. I spoke into it. Tried to contact whoever was on the other end. There was no answer. I kept  
the brown object and it's in my pocket as I write this. My one connection to a world that may or  
may not exist. Aeryn Sun's world. John Crichton must have died with a smile on his face.  
  
The End 


End file.
